COLUMBIA STAR:  Mulch Ado About Nothing
By Mike Maddock

February 22, 2019

I got a letter the other day from my homeowners’ association. That’s never good because homeowners’ associations don’t send letters just to say “Hello” or “Man, your house looks fantastic!”
Nope. Generally, when the association reaches out, it’s bad news.“You are in violation of Code: Whatever, Subsection B of Article Blah, Blah, Blah written on a stone tablet some time back in 1995…”Your garbage cans are visible from the street. Your mailbox needs to be painted a different shade of black. Your fence has too many splinters. Your squirrels aren’t grey enough. It’s always something other than, “Nice work with the pressure washer. Your deck has never looked cleaner!” It’s more like, “Your pressure washer is in violation of the noise ordinance and is a flood hazard.”To the credit of my homeowners’ association, these letters don’t come very often. We don’t have any power-hungry Gladys Kravitz type association presidents staring out the window all day long looking for the most minute violation. But in a way, that makes such letters even more foreboding. They don’t come often, but when they do…. look out.I’d be the first to admit my yard could use a little love and affection, but I haven’t had a free weekend in about six months, so let’s just say it’s looked better. We’re also in the dead of winter despite what that gopher up north prognosticated. No yard is going to make the cover of Better Homes and Gardens in the winter unless it’s covered in snow. I hoped the association could grant me a little leeway with that in mind.Still, I opened the letter with caution. Unfortunately, this was one I never saw coming.To summarize: It seems I was in violation of HOA Rules and Regulations because I had…wait for it… too many pine cones and dead leaves…in my mulch beds.Too many pine cones and leaves… in my mulch beds??? I can honestly say I had no idea such a violation existed or even could exist. I guess I’ve been living a lie all these many years. I thought that’s what mulch beds were for…a kind of catch all for organic things we don’t want in the grass but are not worthy of disposal.  Read more:http://www.thecolumbiastar.com/news/2019-02-22/Commentary/Mulch_Ado_About_Nothing.html